It's All In How You Say It

The other day I was in the bank and I started a conversation with my mother in a way that made everyone's head turn. What I said was, "I've learned the hard way not to place electrical devices into bodily orificies." Now I was actually talking about the fact that she had given me an electric toothbrush that kept shocking me. The statement, of course, was taken in a more perverse sense and I was asked to leave the bank.

I'll never talk about my dental hygiene in public again.

But it got me to thinking about how people percieve the things I say in general and intent. It's a little known secret that I love everybody. I find some good in virtually everyone and I love that part of them, believe in them. I respect them even when they don't respect themselves. I apparently also have a mouth like a rattlesnake. My fiance tells me that other people fear me. And I guess I see it but I'm puzzled by it too. It's true that I'm fairly unpredictable. I don't even know what I'm going to do half of the time. But ultimately, shouldn't it be about intent? I never intentionally hurt anyone. If they could only know what is in my heart, how I love other people, feel connected to them to my detriment, then maybe it'd be a different story. My fiance says that I have to stop saying everything that is on my mind. But isn't there comfort in that? Somehow? When you ask my opinion and I tell you that what you just did isn't quite working but this other thing is genius, doesn't it make you feel better to know I'll always tell you the truth?

I keep thinking that I should just keep doing what I'm doing. And I think that as I love more and more and my intentions grow purer and purer that no one will be hurt by what I say. The love itself will smooth everything. I still hold out hope that this is true.