Living With a One Girl Revolution

These are just random things you hear around my house during the course of the day:

I’d totally kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

So, do you think when the world ends that the sky will really turn to blood?

President Bush looked really uncomfortable at that conference, Mom, do you think he’s constipated? If that’s the problem, do you think we’d still have gone to war if he wasn’t?

Maybe it’d better if women were still sent to the hut at the end of the village when they’re on their period.

I am SO higher on the food chain. I’m telling Mom.

Hey, I’ll just do it in the next life.

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

The Precious. Master is our friend. No. Yes. No.

Too...much....estrogen...in...one...place. Must...call...in...reinforcements...

Why is Barbie naked and covered in duct tape?

Nobody takes Ken seriously, Mom, I mean really. Max Steele. Now there’s a real man.

Mom, please tell Megean to stop calling Ken, "BarbieBoy!"

You’re just a damn conformist.

Are you sure Numchucks and throwing stars are illegal? What about daggers?

Buddhists totally kick ass. Seriously.

I was reading this story about some chick named Mother Theresa. She’s freakin’ cool.

I don't believe Jerry Mathers was really the Beaver. I believe Wally was actually Eddie's gay lover.

I'm tellin' you, it's the Illuminati.

That's what they'd like you to think.

It's not body odor. It isn't if you don't believe that it is.


Things you wonder about when you live with these children:

1. Why is there underwear in the kitchen?
2. Why is there beef jerky and a package of popcornchicken in the bathroom?
3. Who bought popcorn chicken?
4. Why does everyone fear the toliet?
5. Why does the cat think I have bad breath but she'sthe one who drinks out of the toliet?
6. Why isn't the cat dead from drinking from thetoliet?
7. Megean says she’s a vegetarian, but she loves to wear leather. Hmm...