When Children Go Wild

I was with my mom yesterday (we see each other a few times a week) and we were discussing the subject of taking children out in public. She was sad because my brother and sister-in-law don't take my five-year-old niece with them when they go out in public. They do take out their ten and eight-year-old children but that's a more recent occurance. I said that I completely understood why this was.

There is something about being in public that makes children push the limits of authority. They know that they can ask for things and get them more readily and hang on the clothing racks and act insane without the usual consequences that they would suffer at home. Why is that? Because we live in a world of appearances. How many times have you seen parents in public whispering to their child in tones of barely restrained violence, "Now, Tommy, you know you can't act that way. I'm going to have to put you on time out."

But you know when they get home, that parent is absolutely going to beat the crap out of that child. Because it's a conundrum. If you can't control your child, then you are a bad parent. If you discipline your child in public, you are a bad parent. It would seem that they have us over a barrel and it's a no-win situation.

Well, maybe not.

I just want to share my solution to the problem. First, you have to have absolutely no fear of what people think of you. This is essential and good advice for life anyway. You act in love and open your heart, but who gives a damn about appearances. You should always try to do your very best to warn them of the consequences, because that's the right thing to do. Maybe say, "Tommy, you are a great kid, but there consequences when you act up in public. I can make a FAR bigger scene than you can."

Because what they are holding over your head is your self-image and reputation when you are in public. If you don't care, then it takes the power away from them. Now, of course, the reason you want them to behave is for the greater good of everyone else there-the people who don't want to see your child break things and be disruptive. BUT, half the time, those people wouldn't also mind seeing a little entertainment, so what I'm about to suggest is a public service because it will stop the child in his/her tracks and provide public entertainment.

It started for me because my daughter, who is now 19 was absolutely wild in public. It got to the point where just with the trip in the car I'd stop two or three times on the way somewhere because of the arguments in the backseat. Then we'd get somewhere and she'd be so disruptive that OTHER people would offer to spank her.

Until one day...

We were in Best Buy and she 12 and was yelling across the store about how she wanted some video game and why didn't I get her this video game because her grandma buys her all kinds of things and I'd just had enough. So I said quite loudly, " Jessica, good grief, you forgot to change your underwear again, didn't you? How long has it been- four, maybe five days? " And she was so mortified that she glued herself to my side and didn't say another word the rest of the trip.

Since then, I haven't had too much trouble. You'd be surprised how children will behave if you threaten to make grass angels on the front lawn of their school. It just quiets them right down.