The Domino Effect

Trust and betrayal have weighed heavily on my mind lately. Things can happen to you to make you wary and protective and that ultimately cause you to lack the ability to trust anyone. There are good valid reasons at that point not to trust others, but there are even greater reasons to keep trusting, even when it ends in betrayal, ESPECIALLY when it ends in betrayal.

How many times have you seen someone lose their faith in everything, even lose their faith in God/Goddess/a higher power all because they were betrayed by one person? And why does it seem afterwards as if life becomes a series of betrayals? As if every experience with other people afterwards only reinforces that? I don’t actually think that is the imagination or just a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My experience in my own life and my observation of others is that when there is a lesson that needs to be learned, we will continue to be hit with the same problem again and again until we learn. Call it a little gift from God.

So, what would be the point in dealing with betrayal again and again? I guess you would need to consider what your life is about and what the point of life is, etc. in relation to your own personal development and your job in the world. While every person’s answer will differ I think there are some basic jobs that all humans have an obligation to.

For one thing, I think the world would be a better place if more people were loving. There'd be less poverty, war, crime, you get the picture. People would suffer less in their own personal lives and the effects would be passed from two people to many. Half the problems we have, or perceive we have, occur because we feel like we aren’t getting enough of something-we’ll call it love although you could call it a lot of things- and as a result we act out, try to get that thing, make others suffer as ‘payback’ , etc. People walk around living in their own little private hells- these moving conglomerations of experiences that have wounded them so deeply sometimes that they act out without any idea of who they are hurting. Many times when we are hurt by them, the act had nothing to do with us and everything to do with their perceptions of the world in all the moments leading up to the confrontation. A kind of post-traumatic stress disorder.

So, if we are walking around with the walking wounded and we react against their reacting and then pass it along to the next person it becomes exponential. But, instead, we could love them and basically bear the burden of their act, accept it gracefully and stop the chain. Loving others in this way, even when they hurt us, betray us, is shifting the whole world.

Then, if loving people is a relevant goal because it would bring in a higher good on a personal as well as world level, how do we do that? Anyone can love those people that always love you, are always kind to you, are always loyal to you. The real test of your humanity is when you are betrayed by people-whether you can love them anyway and still be open to life and trusting again. Closing up out of protection is kind of like having something in your hand and making a fist
so it won’t fall out. Sure, it won’t fall out, but you also can’t receive anything else in that hand.

We are so happy when life/God/etc. gives us wonderful things, we accept those things gladly. But how happy are we when crappy stuff happens? Betrayal, crisis, misfortune are all gifts as well. It is in those moments that we stretch and learn and grow. We could change not only ourselves, but the world. In those moments we can choose to cry and let it pass and keep our hand open.

It will surely be filled again someday.