Haven't We Done This Before?
It's such an interesting mystery, why we choose people, isn't it? We get older and we see this long pattern of certain kinds of people and maybe those relationships didn't work so we draw whatever conclusions we draw from it. I've thought alot about this the last year that I've lived with my fiance.
From everything I've learned about all my fiance's ex-girlfriend/fiances/wives I'm this weird cross-section of traits from all of them (and his twin brother actually). I know this because my fiance and various members of his family have talked about the exes extensively. I hear stuff and think to myself, "Yikes, that sounds like me" and then I think of ways to not be like that or sometimes think, "hey, what's so wrong with being like that?"
Whereas before in my life I'd probably be more likely to say, "hey, PASS" and find somebody else (cause he's alot like other people I've been with that drove me crazy though I love him insanely, he he he), this time I decided to stick around and love him . For us, obviously there were things that needed to be learned. We are both really trying, although sometimes there's been some shouting and storming from rooms, etc. Being open to each other and the lessons that need to be learned and surviving God throwing in the stuff that he/she/universe kicks in is so freakin' hard!
His family disliked the same things about me that they disliked about all the others and actually 'disowned' me, though I love them and didn't understand what I'd did. That one still makes my head spin.
One of the biggest problems is my general approach to life/problems/conflict. I think it's wonderful when people are blunt and straightforward and truthful. Sometimes it hurts but it makes you feel so much more secure because you know what they really think. Some people hate this and I get alot of flack for it. My fiance says that I need to learn that sometimes people aren't ready to hear what I have to say. He told me some time ago that I need to learn discretion and I daresay he is right. But, the whole thing was so confusing for me that for a period of time I wasn't saying much of anything!! Finally, he yells, "For heaven's sake, say something! Just say what you need to say!" Cause with my wee brain, I just couldn't do what he was asking. SOO, I figure that maybe if I just learn to love more and more, that out of love, I'll begin to exhibit the kind of consideration and gentleness he's talking about.
You think?
From everything I've learned about all my fiance's ex-girlfriend/fiances/wives I'm this weird cross-section of traits from all of them (and his twin brother actually). I know this because my fiance and various members of his family have talked about the exes extensively. I hear stuff and think to myself, "Yikes, that sounds like me" and then I think of ways to not be like that or sometimes think, "hey, what's so wrong with being like that?"
Whereas before in my life I'd probably be more likely to say, "hey, PASS" and find somebody else (cause he's alot like other people I've been with that drove me crazy though I love him insanely, he he he), this time I decided to stick around and love him . For us, obviously there were things that needed to be learned. We are both really trying, although sometimes there's been some shouting and storming from rooms, etc. Being open to each other and the lessons that need to be learned and surviving God throwing in the stuff that he/she/universe kicks in is so freakin' hard!
His family disliked the same things about me that they disliked about all the others and actually 'disowned' me, though I love them and didn't understand what I'd did. That one still makes my head spin.
One of the biggest problems is my general approach to life/problems/conflict. I think it's wonderful when people are blunt and straightforward and truthful. Sometimes it hurts but it makes you feel so much more secure because you know what they really think. Some people hate this and I get alot of flack for it. My fiance says that I need to learn that sometimes people aren't ready to hear what I have to say. He told me some time ago that I need to learn discretion and I daresay he is right. But, the whole thing was so confusing for me that for a period of time I wasn't saying much of anything!! Finally, he yells, "For heaven's sake, say something! Just say what you need to say!" Cause with my wee brain, I just couldn't do what he was asking. SOO, I figure that maybe if I just learn to love more and more, that out of love, I'll begin to exhibit the kind of consideration and gentleness he's talking about.
You think?
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